1: Hotel Amarano Burbank

322 N Pass Ave, Burbank, CA 91505, USA   [888.956.1900]    website

2: LA Fashion District

110 E 9th St, Los Angeles, CA 90015, USA   [213 488-1153]    website

3: La Brea Tar Pits

5801 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90036, USA   [(323) 934-7243]    website

4: Walt Disney Concert Hall

111 S Grand Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90012, USA   website

Check: http://musiccenter.org/visit/toursched.html for tour schedule.

5: Little Tokyo

Japantown, Los Angeles, CA, USA   website

6: Oomasa

100 Japanese Village Plaza Mall, Los Angeles, CA 90012, USA   [213 623-9048]    website

7: Mikawaya

118 Japanese Village Plaza Mall, Los Angeles, CA 90012, USA   [213 628-6514]    website

The creators of Mochi Ice Cream

Hello Travelers!

The best part about traveling is finding something new – a new great restaurant, some new friends made during an all-nighter in a pub, the new perspective a sunrise offers at a different latitude. Rarely do I make a discovery that the residents of the city I am visiting aren’t themselves aware of – but when I do make such a discovery, or in this case discoveries, I get a notion of how just how intrepid an explorer I may be!

5 Facts I discovered about Los Angeles:

1. Everyone in LA complains about traffic jams, and no one IN LA seems to know that public transportation is available!
2. LA is stuck in the 80’s- approximately 1983, more or less, but squarely in the 80’s.
3. No one in LA knows where they are.
4. All directions in LA start on the 101, no matter the starting point.
5. Get out of LA.

10 + Things I recommend doing in La LA-Land:

1. If you got it and want to flaunt it then consider staying at Hotel Amarano. Complete with ipod docking stations this hotel is within sight of Warner Brothers and Universal Studios. If you don’t stay there swing by the lounge popular with studio execs and starry-eyed starlets.
2. Use the Metro. It doesn’t matter where, or for how long. Just do it and the world will marvel at your expeditionary abilities.
3. Eat on Ventura Boulevard. One of LA’ most storied streets where every kind of food and entertainment can be found. Just try driving down Ventura without singing Tom Petty.
4. Rent a car and park it on Rodeo Drive. Throw the doorman the keys like you own the joint just for the fun of it. Then go ogle the clothes that are worth more than your college education. Yes, it’s true that Great China Wall T-shirts can go for more than $400. Aside: ‘go’ ‘ogle’ is not the origin of Google. Click HERE to learn the origin.
5. Visit the LA Fashion District, which in my opinion is easily the best experience in LA. The area boasts great visual treats, delicious cheap food, and more clothing and accessories you could ever imagine with prices that won’t send your eyebrows north when you see the price tags.
6. See something weird. The stinky tar traps at the LaBrea Tar Pits have collected millions of prehistoric animals over the last 40,000 years, reminding you just how long people and things have gotten trapped in LA.
7. Visit the Walt Disney Concert Hall for an interesting view of LA and to see the truly unique building. For tour dates and information click HERE.
   
8. Visit Little Tokyo, located just south of downtown, for a fantastic respite from the sprawl of LA: small streets with mom-and-pop shops, sushi joints, and all the technology and phones one could handle, within about 6 square blocks. Japanese Village Plaza near 1st and Central Streets offers Japanese-inspired architecture, and plenty of shops and dining options.
9. I enjoyed sushi at Oomasa and desert at Mikawaya, which is the birthplace of Mochi ice cream.
10. Get out of town. The Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) winds north through Santa Monica and Malibu, up towards Santa Barbara. The gorgeous views and delicious vineyards along the way will ease your troubled mind.

Now that I got the requisite lists and iKangaroo map done, here’s some context for how I arrived to my FACTS and what I recommend.

Visiting for a wedding, which was to take place in mythic Hollywood, complete with a reception at the Country Club, I selected a hotel based on a) attractiveness, b) price and c) accessibility to said wedding location. I reviewed the options offered by the happy couple: some were far beyond my price range; others were FAR beyond my price range. With a quick trip to Google Maps, cross-referenced with Hotwire Hotels, I discovered a 5-star hotel with a one-star price – and proximity to LA’s Red Line! I confirmed my mission to be a good urban explorer, and decided to try LA without a car.

I quickly booked, and then phoned a friend studying in LA. “Good news!” I crowed. “I got a great price – close to the Red Line, which runs right from the hotel to the church!”

“What’s the red line?” was his cautious response.

Sensing a joke, I said “Well, according to the map, and the LA Public Transport website…”

“LA has public? No it doesn’t….”

“I called the hotel concierge, and it did take him a moment, but he did confirm that the train is right by the hotel… and in fact, it stops about two blocks from the wedding.”

“Huh. Well, you’ll have to let me know how that works for you” said my friend, clearly confused.

After we hung up, I quickly returned to the web for some fact checking. Was I duped by some high-art project? Is the LA Transit page an elaborate joke? I Googled the information again – and discovered countless maps, more or less the same, identifying this information clearly: Los Angeles has a public light rail, with five color-coded lines, and a complex interweaving of bus lines. A fascinating development. FACT 1: everyone in LA complains about traffic jams, and no one IN LA knows that public transportation is available!

Arriving in Los Angeles International a few days later, I checked the airport for mention of the Green Line, which takes you from airport to Manhattan Beach in 15 minutes, for a mere $1.50; or downtown, with two transfers, for the same price. Not a single sign was seen in the entire airport; however, Milli Vanilli reminded me via loudspeaker to “Blame it on the Rain” – at which point I formulated FACT 2 about LA: the place is stuck in the 80’s. Approximately 1983, more or less, but squarely in the 80’s. This was quickly confirmed with multiple sightings of leg warmers, spots-and-stripes combinations (accented with ruffled skirts) and tourists wearing Mickey Mouse t-shirts.

My friend picked me up from the airport, in a fancy 1989 silver Taurus, crowing away to – oh yes – a-ha’s “Take on Me”. Once again, the 80’s in full force. Joining the chorus, we peeled away – into gridlock traffic.

A half hour and 3 blocks later, I turned to Mike and said, “This happens pretty often, huh?”

“Yeah; it’s ok, I budgeted an hour and a half to get you to your hotel. A good time to catch up and have a conversation!”

“REALLY??? It’s only 9 miles – an hour and a half???”

“Yep.” As evidenced by our progression at that point: another 500 yards. Staggering. People tolerate this? Regularly?

“Hey. You know that LA has public transport, right? There’s a train that goes from here to downtown. 30 minutes, my concierge said.”

“Yeah, you said that….” His voice was dubious, eyes darting around the surrounding landscape, perhaps looking for this mythical train. “I’ve never seen it….”

Eventually we made it downtown. Everything they say about LA traffic is true. It sucks, morning noon and night. Non-stop gridlock: 5 miles is a vehicular and smog ridden death sentence. I renewed my conviction to navigate LA with public transportation. Just in time, another friend phoned: he was driving up from Manhattan Beach, and would I like to go visit the wedding grounds with him? He had wheels, we’d have a party. No problem – we agreed to meet at my hotel. I went to the concierge for directions.

“My friend is coming up from Manhattan Beach on the 110. Can you tell me how he should get here?”

“You sure he’s on the 110? Probably more like the 101.”

“Well, he said the 110 but he’s not from here either, so it may be the 101. Whatever – just how should he come up, from Manhattan Beach?”

So, he replies: “How is he planning on coming up?”

And thus was I introduced to 2 more interesting tidbits about Los Angelinos. FACT 3: No one in LA knows where they are. FACT 4: All directions in LA start on the 101, no matter where you are. I grabbed a map and navigated my friend in, just in time for an adventure in the Garment District.

Now there are many things I have heard of LA: the glamour, the glitz, the celebrity, the babes, the beaches. Never once, however, have I been informed of the joy that is the Garment District. There are 90 square blocks located just southwest of downtown, which hardly garner a mention in guidebooks or local lore. Laden with fancy women’s wear, cheap women’s wear, bolts of leopard-print faux fur, kitten-strewn fleece patterns, and an extraordinary collection of men’s shoes. “Italian Leather - Italian Style!” scream the shop windows, inviting you to review the silk ties, the cut-rate suits. Easily the best experience in LA, the area boasts great visual treats, delicious cheap food, and more clothing and accessories you could ever imagine.

The men’s shops boast some of the fanciest Italian shoes ever to be seen: groovy Alligator skin, puckered Ostrich, buttery soft suede, in every color of the rainbow. Cobalt blue hand stitched pointy-toed ostrich shoes, anyone? Celadon green pressed leather? You make the call – you get it. The center of pimp-land is at 7th and Main, while equally fabulous ladies-wear, which covers about 80% of the district, is at 9^th St. and Pico Blvd.

Departing the Garment District, we made our way to – inevitably – the 101 (See FACT 4). Heading north to Universal Studios, we arrived at our friend’s hotel, the beautifully appointed Hotel Amarano located in Burbank. (http://www.hotelamarano.com/; rooms range from $150 - $500/night but can be more affordable if negotiated). If you’ve got it, this is the place to flaunt it: the hotel is within sight of Warner Brothers Studios and Universal, and has a lounge popular with studio execs and starry-eyed starlets.

We dropped off the bags in his spacious room, noted the ipod docking station, the well-appointed mini-bar, and the naked ladies on the wall before asking for directions to our other destinations, thus reinforcing FACT 3, disguised as wrong directions. To whit: in order to go to the country club, we were to take a left from the hotel, drive a few blocks and then take a right. To get to the church, we were to go right out of the hotel, go right and right again – and get to exactly the same place.

After numerous other encounters with Los Angeles traffic, including the now-mythic 101, we finally rendezvous’d with the wedding party at the Hilton Universal, where FACT 2 was in full force: salmon-and-gold color scheme, plush rattan armchairs and Tequila Sunrises for everyone. We informed various members of the party of our intention to navigate LA without a vehicle, each time garnering the expected “Huh?” We explained the train and it’s proximity to the hotel – again, confused looks all around. Finally, someone asked us how our public transport mission was progressing – to which we replied: “Perfectly! As long as you have friends to pick you up!” Which ours promptly did: another phone call had us getting picked up for dinner at the hotel, then dropped off downtown – a full day for all.

The following morning, we went for a walk around downtown LA, pausing at the sculptural Walt Disney Concert Hall for a fun view of the city. Little Tokyo, located just south of downtown, offered a fantastic respite from the sprawl of LA: small streets with mom-and-pop shops, sushi joints, and all the technology and phones one could handle, within about 6 square blocks. Japanese Village Plaza near 1st and Central Streets offers Japanese-inspired architecture, and plenty of shops and dining options. Enjoy sushi ($10 for a full plate) and some hot sake ($5) at Oomasa; then hit Mikawaya for delicious moshi ice cream.

Then it was time to test our mettle: taking the Red Line to our destination. We boarded the train at 7th and Wilshire, paying the $1.25 fee at the self-serve kiosks – only to discover that there are no actual gates for getting on the train. It is, therefore, free – a great irony in a city that complains about transport, congestion and its costs. We had to go down to levels, as there are two train lines which cross in downtown LA – convenient transfers! – but we quickly made it to the right track. The platforms were well-lighted, clean and nicely sized - and the train was clean and efficient. Within 20 minutes, we had arrived at our destination, 7 miles from origination and only 7 stops. This was a coup – the 101 was snarled in a traffic jam and would have taken us well over an hour, and about $50 in cab fare. Thus we came to FACT 5: It’s time to get out of LA.

The next morning (having made it home safely via train), we ordered a rental car and bee-lined for the coast, the intention being to turn north on Highway 1 and head out through Malibu. What was the last song we heard as we were speeding up the Pacific Coast Highway, the sun setting to our left? Appropriately enough: “Beat It.” Thanks for the tip, Michael Jackson.

See you in Neverland Ranch!

Tai